Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize