currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
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