How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
