I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
