found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
