I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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