is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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