What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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