Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
