Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
