Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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