Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
