Me too!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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