idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
it glows. i had to have it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
