WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize