zippers are such a cool invention
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
it glows. i had to have it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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