oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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