its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
