I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Buhtt sex?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
