so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
