So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
