like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize