Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
