Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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