So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
