big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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