i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
