Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
