Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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