so that wasnt chicken after all
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
