It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
