who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
