Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
