doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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