I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
