Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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