Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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