jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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