still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
