Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize