yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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