i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
