My liver just broke up with me...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
