i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
