I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
