He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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