somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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