my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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