dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
