New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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