i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
