By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Come on in and take your pants off
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