And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize