these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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