We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize