Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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