Sry I called you an 8
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
