I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize