I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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