you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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