On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
