I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
