apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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