Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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