she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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