as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
