I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
