Got a toothbrush?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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