Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
