Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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