I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
be right there i have to get my cape
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
