belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Just cropdusted the office
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
