y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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