ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Randomize
